don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
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What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize