you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You made out with two different species that night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
