u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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