you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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