So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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