Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
