there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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