He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
