forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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