I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So vagazzling was a success
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