dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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