if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
