Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
