thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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