Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I could fuck to npr.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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