Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
