New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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