i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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