worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
