Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
