there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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