I skipped work to stalk him.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize