Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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