dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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