My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
