Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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