I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
...so i touched it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
