Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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