If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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