that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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