; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
