How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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