Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
