So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
one might say we're banned from that church
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Randomize
