I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
