Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
