Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
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I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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