Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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