we're blogging at a bar
I hate all girls vehemently.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
