what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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