Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
