so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize