I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
