Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
