We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
