Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
