Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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