you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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