i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize