As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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