New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
