At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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