i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
