You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
