Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
