I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
handjob tips. give me some.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
