I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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