And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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